![]() At first glance this famous Yogi Berra quotation does not seem to offer much practical advice. However confusing it may seem, it can serve to point us in the right direction. On a recent school field trip to Chicago we were reminded before crossing the border to turn off our data or face potentially large bills from our cell phone carrier. Later other people found their phone displaying the wrong time as it had not made the time zone switch at the Illinois border. However, I was not concerned with either situation as the defaults on my phone were already set to turn data off while roaming and to automatically adjust to new time zones. You may wonder what these cell phone stories have to do with the challenges of decision-making? They illustrate a powerful tool that I call “advance decision making”. When crossing the border or crossing into a new time zone there was no further action needed to be taken on my part because my phone’s settings had already dealt with the situation. In a similar way we can make decisions in advance, set our personal defaults if you will, to ease the difficulty of some of life’s short-term and long-term decisions. I have found “advance decision making” to be very helpful in many different situations. Setting your defaults in place helps prevent relying on changing circumstances or shifting feelings to make decisions for you. You will not have to take further action, just deal with the situation according to your default settings. And like the default settings on your phone you can always make changes to them as your needs change. I wrote previously about Getting Off the Goal Carousel and the importance of scheduling in those items that would get you to your objectives, rather than gearing up for a specific goal, achieving it, then falling back into the same bad routines and having to set the same goal all over again. Advance decision making is the key to breaking this cycle. In order to get into better shape as a lifestyle I have now joined some friends in a twice weekly fitness class. I have decided in advance that Tuesday and Thursday at 6:45 pm I head to the gym. No more waiting until after school each day to decide whether or not I feel like working out. I don’t set my alarm in the morning and decide if I feel like going to the pool or going back to bed. At this point I don’t have a specific “goal” like an upcoming triathlon, however I have the objective of improving my overall fitness and a scheduled routine in place to do that. I feel already that I will likely want to add one more fitness related event into my schedule and when I decide what that is I will add it into my weekly default settings as well. I have been eating better and doing so more consistently this year as well. I have decided in advance what foods I will eat more of, what foods I will eat less of, and what foods I have eliminated entirely. And I know what days I will break from this routine. No more opening the fridge or the cupboard and deciding what to eat, or how much of it to eat, based on what is there. I don’t wait and see what my body is craving and feed it whatever it feels like at the time. The decisions on what to eat have been made in advance. In my high school and university years deciding in advance that I was not going to use and abuse alcohol or drugs meant that I could safely move in and out of any social circle and any social situation and not be pressured into doing something that I would later regret. My default settings were locked in and I simply had to follow them. I had many peers who would try to make these decisions in the heat of the moment and later wish they had chosen differently. And of course there were others whose defaults were different than mine and that was their choice too. In our marriage my wife and I believe strongly in the sanctity of our marriage vows. We have decided in advance that whatever decisions we make we will make them together, with each other, for each other, and that going our separate ways is not an option. After 22 years we don’t wait to see how we feel each day to decide if we will honour that commitment. The feelings that motivated us to commit to each other originally might not be the same feelings we have every day after that, especially as life throws changing circumstances, children, careers, tragedies and triumphs our way. But we have decided in advance that we were going to love our choice everyday. Does advance decision have other applications? It sure does. Have children who you want to help with their education in the future? Don’t wait to see what might be left over after your vacation, golf membership, and new car are paid for - decide in advance to put away $200 a month as soon as you can and sit back and watch their college fund grow. In school and want to do better? Find it hard to motivate yourself to sit down and study with so many distractions? Don’t wait to see if the course interests you or when the assignments are due. Decide in advance to do 30 minutes of work every day on the course you are worried about, decide what 30 minutes it will be, sit down, put your phone away, do the work and watch your grades improve. Have someone in your home you butt heads with all the time? Don’t wait to see how they are treating you or if they have stopped doing what bugs you. Decide in advance that for the next 2 weeks you are going to say only positive things to them and watch the relationship improve. Is your toddler or teen driving you crazy? Are you finding that your response to their misbehaviour varies with your mood or energy level? Take the emotion out of your reactions by deciding, and making it clear, in advance what the consequences of their actions and choices and will be. Then follow through on your advance decisions. Repeat this pattern. Both you and your child will see the benefits. Adults often need help with our gadget settings from younger people who more instinctive with their devices as they are experienced in dealing with them every day and from an early age. Similarly adults can help young people with their life default settings as we have experience with situations they will face having been through them before. I used to think that some people were just naturally a certain way; whether that be naturally happy or sad, positive or negative. But I have to come to believe that these settings can also be influenced like the defaults on our phone. Perhaps not instantly; but certainly over time. Decide in advance to see the bright side of situations or not to always point out how someone could have done something differently. Research shows that over time you will find your overall outlook begin to change. Maybe you want to change the trajectory of your life around how you treat people and being more grateful. Decide in advance to be intentional in thanking people more often. Yogi Berra may not have been very helpful with the directions to his house when he uttered the now famous phrase, “When you come to a fork in the road - take it.” But his instructions serve to illustrate the importance of being decisive and knowing in advance what you plan do when faced with a decision. When you come to a fork in the road, follow what your defaults are set to and you will avoid unnecessary detours and costly delays on your road to a better place.
1 Comment
11/5/2022 03:31:38 pm
Budget accept you about before human owner country.
Reply
Leave a Reply. |
Thoughts from JeffCheck back for the latest from Jeff..... Archives
October 2017
Categories |
Upcoming and Recent Engagements |
Assorted Past Engagements
|
Canadian Student Leadership Conference - Oct 14-17, 2023
Saint John, New Brunswick West Shamokin Jr/Sr High - Sept, 2023 Rural Valley, PA Armstrong Jr/Sr High - Sept, 2023 Kittanning, PA Geneseo Central School District - June 21, 2023 Geneseo, NY* Channelview ISD - June 6, 2023 Channelview, TX* Southern Alberta Interscholastic Leaders Conference - May 9,10 Lethbridge, AB Digby Regional High School - May 4, 2023 Digby, NS Lockview HS - May 3, 2023 Fall River, NS Three Oaks High School - May 2, 2023 Summerside, PEI Global Student Leadership Summit - May 1, 2023 London, ON Waterloo Collegiate Institute - April 27, 2023 Waterloo, ON Swope Middle School - April 14, 2023 Reno, NV Horizons Tour - April 2-4, 2023 Edmonton, Lloydminster, Vermillion AB Clayton Heights Secondary School - Mar 8, 2023 Surrey, BC Fleetwood Secondary School - Mar 7, 2023 Surrey, BC Rutland Senior Secondary School - Mar 6, 2023 Kelowna, BC California Association of Directors of Activities (CADA) - Mar 3, 2023 San Diego, CA Western University Education Conference - Feb 22, 2023 London, ON Solon Middle School - Feb 20, 2023 Solon, IA* Cameron Heights Collegiate Institute - Feb 9, 2023 Kitchener, ON Geneseo Central School District - Feb 1, 2023 Geneseo, NY* Armstrong School District - Jan 16, 2023 Kittanning, PA* Bridgeport School - Nov 16, 2022 Kitchener, ON Ontario Student Leadership Conference - Nov 6-8, 2022 Niagara Falls, ON Hole in the Wall Gang Camp Staff Training - Nov 2, 2022 Virtual Talk Stonewall Collegiate- Oct 14, 2022 Stonewall, MB MacGregor Collegiate - Oct. 13, 2022 MacGregor, MB Beaver Brae Secondary School - Oct 12, 2022 Kenora, ON River Falls School District - Oct. 10, 2022 River Falls, WI* Canadian Student Leadership Conference - Oct 6-8, 2022 Virbela Virtual Campus AB Lucas Secondary School - Sep 21, 2022 London, ON |
Campbell County School District - Aug 15, 2022
Gillette, WY* Shasta County Office of Education - Aug 12, 2022 Redding, CA* Livingston High School - Aug 9, 2022 Livingston, CA* Ripon Unified School District - Aug 8, 2022 Ripon, CA* Rockport-Fulton MS/HS - Aug 4, 2022 Rockport, TX* KIPP St Louis - Aug 3, 2022 St. Louis, MO* Oak Ridge Schools - Jul 20, 2022 Oak Ridge, TN* Arkansas City Public Schools - Jul 18, 2022 Arkansas City, KS* Horizons Leadership Conference - May 24, 2022 Lockview HS, Fall River NS CSLA Student Leadership MasterClass - May 12, 2022 MacLean Memorial School - May 2, 2022 Chibougamau, QC Horizons Leadership Conference - Mar 8, 2022 Virtual Western University Education Conference - Feb. 22-25, 2022 London, ON (Virtual) Avon Maitland DSB Remote Learning School - Jan 25, 2022 Canadian Student Leadership Conference - Oct 21-23, 2021 Virtual Campus Global Student Leadership Days - May 18-19, 2021 Everywhere! Brock Student Leadership Summit - Mar 26, 2021 Brock University (Virtual) Brant County Rec Staff Training, Dec. 21, 2020 High Performing Educator Podcast - Nov. 9, 2020 Global Student Leadership Days -May 6-7, 2020 Brock University ConEd, St Catherines ON - Mar 7, 2020 Saugeen DSS, Port Elgin, ON - Feb 18, 2020 CharacterStrong Podcast - Feb 3, 2020 Ridge High School, Basking Ridge, NJ - Jan 29, 2020* CharacterStrong Podcast - Nov. 19, 2019 Decatur Public Schools, Decatur, IL - Nov. 6, 2019* Ontario Student Leadership Conference, Niagara Falls, ON - Nov. 4, 2019 Ephrata High School, Ephrata WA - Oct. 11, 2019* Canadian Student Leadership Conference - Sep 24-28, 2019 Gardner HS, Gardner Massachusetts - Aug 26, 2019* Camp Belwood Staff Training - Jun 26, 2019 Camp Wabanaki Leadership Staff Training - Jun 23, 2019 City of Kitchener Neighbourhood Camps Staff - Jun 9, 2019 Nova Scotia SSA, Antigonish, NS - May 17, 2019 Bluefield HS, North Wiltshire PEI - May 16, 2019 McKinnon Park SS, Caledonia ON - May 10, 2019 John G. Diefenbaker High School, Calgary AB - May 6, 2019 Cochrane High School, Cochrane AB - May 6, 2019 Beaver Brae SS, Kenora ON - Apr 25, 2019 Windsor Park Collegiate, Winnipeg, MB - Apr 24, 2019 Columbia Basin Hospital - Ephrata, WA - TBA reschedule Ephrata High School - Ephrata, WA- TBA reschedule Thomas Jefferson High School - Auburn, WA - TBA reschedule John Rennie High School -Point Claire, QC - TBA reschedule *CharacterStrong presentations |